Should the Grind Ever Stop?

     I am the type of person that watches all YouTube videos at double speed and still finds them slow and listens to podcasts to and from school at double speed. Audiobooks and even Netflix shows - all watched/listened to at double speed. So, I was thinking about this recently and the reason for my tendency to do this. Am I living my life in double speed? Is it simply my desire to learn more in a shorter period of time? Is that a symptom of my desire to constantly be productive - to cram in every second of productivity even within my time for entertainment? Or maybe my short attention span that tries to convert long-form entertainment into the quick speed of mindless Tik Tok and Instagram scrolling?

    This week I decided to focus on the first hypothesis - my desire to be constantly productive. I wanted to give a quick disclaimer: I am, by no stretch of the imagination, productive all the time. However, I do think many of us, myself included, feel the need to be exceedingly productive and therefore take seemingly strange actions to convince ourselves that we are being productive when that is far from reality and doesn't need to be reality. In my case, I find myself gravitating towards YouTube videos or podcasts in my free time but convincing myself that since it's at double speed, it's still productive. In reality, this is not necessarily a beneficial mentality because it falsely justifies the twisted narrative of productivity when I should be consuming these forms of entertainment with no ulterior thought of my efficiency. 

    In my life particularly, the idea of working is comforting: it's something I am familiar with. Because what do you do when you have been gifted the forbidden fruit of free time? We have learned not to indulge in it, and the looming freedom of choice present inherently in the concept of "free time" can be intimidating. Work is something we directly have control over - a means of minimizing the uncertainty that comes with the natural world. That is also why we all wanted to try to make quarantine a time of productivity. Many tried learning new skills not out of enjoyment but simply to expand their repertoire of marketable skills and thought that their quarantine was useless unless a new business was created and/or a learning journey embarked on ... all during a global pandemic. Inherently, these are not bad ideas but often the motivation for them doesn't encourage sustainability. And inevitably, when we don't reach every single goal of ours, it creates a sense of guilt and disappointment that only discourages future growth. 

    We have grown up in a culture that quantifies our value based on our output and productivity (which is basically how the value of machines is qualified). Especially in the United States, the "come-up" and the "grind" is valorized and "right-place and right-time" opportunities combined with privilege that often come alongside hard work are largely forgotten. This feeds, perfectly into the idea and prevalence of hustle culture that has contributed to the formation of this association. "The grind never stops" is the infamous phrase that has defined much of my generation's philosophy on work and work ethics. This constant desire to achieve the next thing, the next goal, the next task. With each mission, it's ok if our physical or mental health slowly starts slipping away. It's ok - we will deal with that when we finally achieve our goal. But as soon as it is achieved, we can't waste even a sliver of time - onto the next thing! 

    We even glorify the idea of sacrificing for our goals which leads to unnecessary stress and burnout and often actually decreases productivity. There have been many studies that focus on overworking within a structured work environment. Working long hours does not lead to a tangible difference in output. Between two studied groups - one that actually worked long hours and one that only pretended to, the amount they accomplished was very similar, and their managers noticed no significant difference in their work. Especially in settings where we are not forced/paid to work by the hour, there is no reason to work or even pretend to work for long hours because it does not increase the output we so desperately seek to achieve. Not only are there diminishing returns, but overworking can also contribute to a wide range of health problems from a higher risk of depression to heart disease, and it can even impair interpersonal communication skills. 

    After recognizing the harms of glorifying workaholism and the "counterproductivity" of overworking, it begs the question about what can be done about it. The first important step is to analyze our emotional relationship with our work and whether or not we fall into some of the cycles and thought patterns discussed above. Subsequently, removing the thought that there are better uses of time can help combat the negative emotions. We definitely shouldn't abandon productivity and the importance of determination. Honestly, this blog was a product of that mentality, and I am so grateful for it now. But, I do believe that I have been able to convert it from something that defines my self-worth to now a creative outlet for some of my thoughts. And, it is important to recognize the merit and necessity of unrestricted rest - one without the guilt of not working. I know I began this post with a short discussion about double speed and potentially living my life on double speed. I love listening to things faster, but my internal correlation between double speed and productivity is not the reason I should be consuming content or entertainment in this way. I should do it for the excitement and the joy of the content itself without any attachment to the tangible output it will produce in my life. Detangling the dependence of our self-worth on our productivity begins the journey of resilience as well as long-term sustainability and the quality of our work and more importantly, our lives. 

    Ultimately, my answer to the question "Should the Grind Ever Stop?": Yes. It should, and it needs to.

    Side Note: These are only my thoughts on the issue and definitely could have been explained more eloquently, so let me know if you have any thoughts on this topic. I also noticed the uncertainty manifesting in me as I began using passive language, like that described in my post on the gendered confidence gap, to describe most of my thoughts. I eventually tried to remove some of this language after conscious thought about it, but it was interesting to see some of my prior posts relate to this one. I should have full autonomy over my own blog but still felt this need to convey my uncertainty in the article. Also, if you are interested, I suggest reading the 2 articles below: they are incredibly insightful and I used some of the ideas and studies in the articles to expand on my own reflections. 

https://hbr.org/2015/08/the-research-is-clear-long-hours-backfire-for-people-and-for-companies 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/toxic-productivity-work_l_606655e7c5b6aa24bc60a566#:~:text=Toxic%20productivity%20is%20essentially%20an,all%20times%2C%20at%20all%20costs.&text=Toxic%20productivity%20doesn't%20even,for%20not%20having%20done%20more. 

 Thanks for reading, 

Janvi :)